I'm going to get a job offer very soon

I'm going to get a job offer very soon
I'm going to get a job offer very soon
I'm going to get a job offer very soon
I'm going to get a job offer very soon
I'm going to get a job offer very soon
I'm going to get a job offer very soon
I'm going to get a job offer very soon
I'm going to get a job offer very soon
I'm going to get a job offer very soon

I'M GOING TO GET A JOB OFFER VERY SOON!!!

Lomography # 2 - Headless Shoots

Don't know why my head always went missing in my Diana F+. Maybe im too tall or im too fat to fit in the frame =_="

Obviously i was the not one holding the camera at the moment as the headless me is inside all the photos. Someone really have to improve his lomo photography skills dy.... ngek ngek ngek!!

Wanted to have a nice pose sitting on the jetty with beautiful sea view but ended up with my fat legs with pretty slippers on part of the jetty and little bit of sea water.... LOL

This one.... needless to explain lah. More like a cover of creepy horror movie i can say.

I super like this photo actually, even im headless in the upper left corner but overall still looks great~!! It's not creepy at all in fact, have the "art" feel. LOL

Taken on the boat while we went for whale watching at Gold Coast. Love the ISO 200 film so much, like the yellowish + greenish color. 

Can be a great photo i think, but more like a toothpaste/toothbrush advertisement showing our nice teeth now.... say cheeeese ^_^

This i can say is the best among all the headless shoots!! Maybe need certain skills to capture it....haha~

 Totally headless, can't even see my chin or neck. But my pretty pick superman jacket was well captured and  i was standing right at the center of the frame. My head was so well "chopped". LoLz

Alright, headless pink superwomen says BYE~

Lomography #1

Photos below taken with Diana F+ 35mm Back with iso 400 film.

Diana F+ is not my first lomo camera, i got her as a surprise gift from Egui. At first both of us didn't know how to use this camera at all because she's not as simple as other lomo. In fact, she's complicated and come with different kind of lens and setting. I had to googled, asked around and READ THE INSTRUCTION BOOK that i seriously lazy to touch it. Thank god Shind told me as a beginner better to start with 35mm film cause it's cheaper and we're more familiar with it. If any thing happen to that roll of film i won't be so heart pain. Normally first roll of film always turn out bad because lack of experience and not so skillful ma. Therefore..... here we go with my very first roll of Diana F+

First photo..... FAILED =_=" 

The top part went missing

I didn't wanna do double exposure, i think i just forgot to advance my film. Failed again...sigh

This is one of the photo that i satisfy with, taken in front of Guan Yin Temple

We went bai bai before the Lang Tengah Trip because at chinese month 7th LOL~

Blurry photo, this camera is not suitable for indoor i guess unless with the flash la. But i still haven't figure out how to use the external flash light.

One thing i like about lomo, can always get a clear shot on moving objects.

View from my office, have no idea why so yellowish.

View from my house at Chinatown.

Lovely datuk & nenek helping each other

We purposely went out to kill all the remaining film hoping that can get the result before our Gold Coast trip. Therefore we went under the sun in the super hot day~!!

Merlion in the cage,,,, again!!

Last photo of the film~

Half of the photos actually turned out blur or bad. Anyway, i think i did a good job for first timer =P

Palpitation

My day immediately turned into grey colour this morning right after i stepped into office. I'm suppose to be re-borned after my GoldCoast trip but all the bad news approaching too fast. I don't even have time to digest it. I'm not only worry about myself becoming jobless anytime soon, but i'm worrying about the company too. Now the thing is there's nothing i can do or help, i feel damn bad and miserable. 

The weather of Singapore is super cooperative too, keep raining since last week and it's totally reflecting our mood wtf. Boss are having meeting with all the creditors now, all of us doing nothing here, only left with palpitation and gen zheong-ness. The feeling is like riding on a roller coaster.

My whatsapp keeps ringing, all from industry people. Especially those that i'm not close with come and kepo with our situation now. Some even worst, people that seldom say hello to me come and ask for lunch or dinner, how good you guys are, u idiot just want to dig information FYL!! Some fake people act concern, asking did i get any new job or else they can help. Hello, thank you very much lo, i'm now still working and don't try to dig info from me KNS!! At this moment, i can see clearly who is the real human and who is the ghost. In fact, when u are drawning, most of the people helping u by throwing the stones. That's reality. 

I wanted to upload my GC photos since i'm super free now but i feel inappropriate cause i'm seriously not in the mood. In the other hand i feel there's a need to upload because people now are stalking our facebook, i'm 100% sure for this. Uploading photos is one of the way of telling people "Hey, i'm perfectly fine and don't bullshit me. The condition of company now is not as bad as u think cause i still can happily went for my vacation. So stop spreading all the unnecessary rumours!!~"

Can't believe i need to come across all these. I'm just an employee here, i can leave the company anytime to look for new job but i didn't. Not because i love my job so much just because i can't just leave like that. Maybe i couldn't help much but at least i still remember who brought me here to this industry, who brought me here so that i am who i am now and who brought me to Singapore so that i am earning sing dollar. I know i am now in the deep shit and further deep shit for next few months especially if *touch wood* i jobless. Anyhow, i'm still here to support my company my boss.

Getaway from Singapore - Lang Tengah Island

Celebrated Hari Raya at my own county, Malaysia~!!! Feel HOME..... wtf >.< In fact i did pass by my hometown just never stop by only ma....hehe.

Well.....I went Lang Tengah Island, located in between Redang Island & Perhentian Island, Terengganu with Egui. The trip organized by my senior Min Hui, total of 16 people, 14 divers and 2 snorkelers. It's a dive trip actually but it's not a real dive trip for me. The trip was a birthday gift for Egui,  Anyway, he can't dive so half of the trip we were snorkeling. He was excited because it's his very first island trip and he never snorkel on the sea before this. I'm proud of myself, i made history in his life *shy* LOL~ I think i influenced him, he actually enjoyed the beach boy life and decided to take diving course next year..... maybe. *shy again*wuahahaha!!

Okay, back to the trip. I did 2 dives, to be honest the dives were so-so only, nothing fantastic nothing amazing. Min Hui actually told me i already did the best dive for the whole trip which is deep dive. Not because i been to Sipadan before, i will never compare Peninsula water with East Malaysia water lo. Is because the underwater community is not so diverse even compare with Tioman Island. Thank god diving was not the main reason for me joining the trip, otherwise rather disappointing.

Anyway, one thing i love about Lang Tengah is the water. I was surprised that we have such clean water at east coast, the visibility is up to 10m. Just curious how come clean water has lesser underwater creatures, weird.... The beach is very clean, not much activities but very relaxing place if you wanna have short break on the beach.

See~ The crystal clear water~!!

The beach, this is the famous "Love You You" resort. We were staying beside this resort which is much more cheaper LOL

Gear up, ready to dive!!

My uh-hmm "leng zai" senior, self vomit =_="

One of the common fish at Lang Tengah, NEMO~

 

One of the best shoot

I performed my "magic hand" here  =P

Time for snorkeling, basically i turn into darker skin cause of snorkeling

Best photo of the trip, didn't know i still look good underwater... hahaha!! i know, i beh paiseh

Last one, "chao da* couple ^_^

Down

Something very very bad happened

Which is totally out of my expectation

Never thought about this would happen

I can't tell i can't share

The situation is unclear, everything is unknown

I'm worry but there's nothing can be done at the moment

Move on or not, no one can answer me

The only thing can do is wait wait and wait

Waiting patiently for an answer and prepare for the worst

This is horrible and scary

If thing goes wrong, my life will be effected 

I don't have any backup plan for this

Just follow the flow i guess?

What A Day

Super FRUSTRATING~!!!

Yesterday someone just sms me out of the blue saying that "ur life seems not bad huh, until totally forget about me"

I was like "huh?? where got?"

The she continued "i text u when i was in the hospital, but end up no reply since then"

I was struggled in my mind, sound familiar but couldn't remember at all. So i faster checked my whatsapp and...... SHIT~!!! there's a whatsapp from her saying that she was in hospital!! HOW COULD I NOT REMEMBER AND NEVER REPLY?!! At the moment i hate myself to the max cause what kind of friend i am. Therefore i apologized and apologized and apologized.... of course came out with all sort of excuses also la =P

Me "owh sorry.... paiseh~ I was on duty that week busy til no time pee ar.... (In fact, this always happened, never lie) After that really forget jor.....sorry la, don't mad.....so how was it? now recover le?"

Her replied " Nvm la, at lease i know where is my position now. Recovered, it has been 2 weeks ago so im recovered." 

Then i continued apologized "sorry la, my mistake =( Was really busy and stress up by work til last weekend had a short break then only ok abit. Ok.... i know is not an excuse.....sorry la.....sayang sayang back k?"

Then i felt something not right? Even a hi-bye friend telling me that he/she not feeling well i also will send my regards la. How could i forget about her? So i re-checked the whatsapp. Then i found out the whatsapp was sent at 3am!!!

Hello~!!! Who the hell can remember what i read at the middle of then on my half way of beauty sleep then the next day can remember clearly de?? Don't mention that i was on duty and already not enough sleep and worry about my schedule?? Anyway.... forgot means forgot so i know partly is my fault also.

Me "u sent me that time is 3am ler, i woke up read liao slept back, the next day really couldn't remember ar. but i never forget u la"

Her "is fine"

Me "=( "

Her "Because we really have diversion after uni, couldnt blame if it doesnt works well, people are growing n heading to different directions."

Me "walao..... how come sounds lesbian to me?? eh, don't like that ler (thought that she's REALLY FINE le) "

Her "Best friend won't stay as well, i accepted the fact"

Me "Zzzzzzzzzzzz.....don't think too much la. Im busy here and we have different direction doesn't mean we cannot be best friend de ma"

Her "Topic ended"

Me "What??"

Her "Wasting time to discuss this as both of us are so busy. Anyway is good to know u are safe and alive, gtg"

Me "Alright, u take care. Really sorry about that"

I'm now hating myself for saying sorry again in the last msg..... for what??!! Apologizes were not accepted also. How sarcastic a person can be?? Gosh~!!! Out of so many hours in a day, why must you came out with this conversation at my busiest hour, trading time. You know that i was busy that time~!! Can u imagine how frustrated i was after going through all these??


Best part is..... my day ended with something interesting. A coursemate who never meet for years and not so close with marine family told me that she actually complained me to him OFTEN back in uni. Just happened that we had coffee session last night. What a day!!

Honest speaking, i can understand if u mad at me for not replying your 3am's whatsapp especially when u are not feeling well and u need a friend to stay with u. But is there a need to end the conversation that way?? After my.... let me count.... FOUR TIMES OF SAYING SORRY? If u are insisting with your "sorry is no cure" philosophy, please go ahead.

Food of May

These are part of the food i had in the month of May. One thing i love about my job is i can have endless delicious and yummilicious food!! Most important is all the food is FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~

Well..... is not that i work for free food, just that this is part of my job. Don't get me wrong, im not a food tester lol. Just because i need to entertain customers very often and i don't like to chill-out at the bar or club like what others do. I prefer to chill-out with my friends instead of customers lo. Chill-out suppose to be relax ma, if facing customers i have to be alert all the time. I know i know, free alcohol who doesn't want? Yes, i don't want!! Therefore.... here comes all the nice food [=

If given a choice i will definitely buy my customers breakfast/brunch/lunch/dinner. There are so many types of food i can choose but alcohol is only alcohol lo, no matter what brand u are. Hence.... food vs alcohol, food won~!! LOL..... FOC (full of crap).

Just found out this month i actually ent lesser compare with previous month. Maybe too many things happened until i'm afraid of meeting people. Anyhow, will try to go out more and hunt for more food next month =P

Seems like im more into western food and also more to a dessert person. But seriously, this whole month don't know what's wrong with me. I'm constantly crave for pancakes until my colleague said im crazy =D

I should have list down all the yummilicious food's name and also location but paiseh la..... i basically forgot ALL the name and forgot part of the location too. Punch myself.... useless!! Will TRY to remember next time, TRY only.... wuahaha!!

TGIF!!

Thank God Is FRIDAYYYYYY~!!! Sorry to show my sleepy face, this photo was taken in the bus when i was on the way to work. Today is casual day, hence.....dress down!!

OMG~!! See my puffy chubby face, cannot take it!! But heck care, im going to Penang and meet my girls soon. Counting down, 8 more dayssssss. Food food food, im coming coming coming =D

Btw, i bought bubble bars for the trip. Hopefully there's a bath tub in the bathroom so that i can have my bubble bath. Of course, i got some for my girls too ❤❤

-Workout Workout-

Hungry~!!!! Im damn hungry now.....

Because..... i went swimming this early morning at 7am!! Always get hungry easily after swimming, I woke up at 6.45am, walked around 10min to Fitness First @ George One. Yes, i signed up for gym.... again. Took two weeks to decide which fitness center to join, True Fitness or Fitness First. End up i go for Fitness First which is most expensive within the 3 famous club in SEA.

Here are the reasons...

• Swimming pool is a must for me, so California Fitness is definitely out from the list.
• I love my tan skin so i love open air swimming pool. True Fitness @ Suntec have a huge outdoor swimming pool and i love it. But.... i need to walk for 8-10min to reach the pool cause it's at different side of the building. And..... i need to exchange the pool card at the entrance of club (which is another side of the building) with my membership cards then only can proceed to the pool. Means every time i need to walk at least 15min to get and return the card. The worse part, shower room at pool area don't have water heater.....sigh~
• Swimming pool at Fitness First is relatively small, only 25m long. It's a indoor pool though which not the one i really want. But they have temperature control for the water, so it's forever warm. They are damn smart!! After all is hard for me to decide according to the swimming pool.
• Then..... I don't really use the equipments, i don't run i don't need to build up muscle so i don't need a spacious gym place.
• Normally i go to classes such as yoga, zumba, bodystep etc etc. Preferably have hot yoga. So yoga studio is a must too. Both clubs have all the classes that i want.
• Bathroom must be clean, at least don't make me feel nauseous and feel comfortable while using it.
• Sauna is important too. Since paying so much of course i prefer to have both dry and wet sauna. But the biggest True Fitness in Singapore have a very small dry sauna which can barely fit 3-4 people. Moreover, they only have dry sauna.This point, Fitness First win!
• Of course i didn't choose the club cause of the sauna la. Here comes the most important part. Payment!
• Im a foreigner here so i can't apply credit card with my current income. So i only have debit visa card. To sign up 2 years of True fitness all club (u can go all their fitness center in singapore) is about SGD 72 a month. Is actually reasonable for me but....... the don't accept installment payment by visa debit. So they requested me to pay one lump sum which is ard SGD 1800. For god sake where to find so much of cash?!!
• Then they gave me option 2 which is sign up for 1 year with giro payment so ard SGD 100 a month plus if not mistaken. 
•  For Fitness First, it's forever more expensive cause of the service provided there. They provide towel as what others club do and they provide attire as well. So basically i don't need to bring anything =]
• It's SGD 118 a month for 1 year vip membership (valid for all club in the world) and they allow me to pay monthly by debit card. Since both also over 100 bucks of course i go for the better service one lar.

Here I am started with my gym this week. I believe this is the good start for me since i always wanted to have a balance life here. Will keep it on~!!

I'm having a very smooth ops week!

I'm having a very smooth ops week~
I'm having a very smooth ops week~
I'm having a very smooth ops week~
I'm having a very smooth ops week~
I'm having a very smooth ops week~
I'm having a very smooth ops week~
I'm having a very smooth ops week~
I'm having a very smooth ops week~
I'm having a very smooth ops week~
I'm having a very smooth ops week~

 The law of attraction, that's all i can do for my coming operation week =]

I'm Just Me~

All the while i have been wanting to be/look perfect, or at least good. No matter outlook or personality, work wise or private, in front of customers or colleagues, to my parents or friends. But..... i always fail to become one, just simply because there's nothing perfect. Instead of forcing myself to be perfect, then i choose the easier way, just to accept who i am.

That's for sure sometimes i got upset when someone told me that..... "Wow~ u put on lots of weight recently hor",  "Owh dear, i think u need to learn how to put on some make up", "I suggest u to put on braces lo, your teeth are too ugly ler, how to see people like that?", "How come u always look like a school girl? should dress up more often ma"...... bla bla bla!

After i groomed myself..... a bit, then people start saying "Wow~ u changed liao, is not the old u anymore", "Why wanna spend so much for self grooming?", "Wah~ someone now rich liao lo, buy expensive bag"....... bla bla bla!

Or sometimes i heard these..... "Wah~ your England so good hor? (that's the sarcastic way of singaporean teasing someone about their poor english, but i find out their pronunciation also a bit weird though LoL)", "Why are u so quiet? how to become a trader if u don't talk?" Then i try to talk more end up the feedback was "Don't talk so much especially the thing that u not sure, rumours spread damn fast in this industry and u are creating trouble".....

People who saying all these is not the same person and also might not from the same group. But you see what i mean? There's no way to become perfect and good in everybody's eyes, cause everyone has different perception.

Therefore, i make up or not is non of your business. I wanna open my mouth and talk or not is my choice. I wanna be nice to you or not, depends on your luck =P . Am i different with the previous me, i think doesn't affect u at all. I buy expensive things, yeah right..... i never send my bil to u, isn't it? If im being fake to u, then please ask yourself what have u done earlier.

Well.....

I'm not PRETTY to you but this is not your problem

I'm not PERFECT to you but i don't think u are perfect either

I'm not FAKE and i'm glad about that

I'm just ME

So......

You either accept me as who i am or get lost.

Argh~!!!

I hate myself today!! How can i do such silly mistake?? Unforgivable!!

Okay, this gonna ruin my whole day. FML

 

Escape Plan

Air tickets BOOKED~!! I had bought 3 return tickets for the next 6 months and all the tickets bought within 2 weeks. OMG~!!! Can't believe i actually did that wtf >.<

April was a stressful, desperate and emo month for me. Too many things happened so i need to escape. The best way to escape of course is TRAVEL. Hence.......

2nd - 4th June : Penang short trip with SATC!!! Owh.... Miss them muchie muchie~

23rd - 28th August : Gold Coast with Egui. I miss OZ badly ever since my Melb trip @ 2010. Anyway, this is not a couple trip, i prefer more people. So anyone interested pls buzz me =) Sounds like i have lot of readers but in fact, i don't have..... LOL

18th - 21st October : Bangkok with Rachael!! This one really booked under "chong dong-ness". After we booked then only we found out it's actually on our SIBCON week. This time we sure die super ugly. Either we take 2 days leave with lots of nagging or..... we gonna burn the ticket. 

June-Aug-Oct, well spread~!! Hopefully i don't need to burn any ticket again. My kk ticket already burned sob sob, so PLEASE PLEASE PLEAS~

So the thing i need to do from now on is..... SAVE $$$

REAL OR FAKE??

How to tell a person is being real or fake to you? I seriously can't tell. Since i joined bunker, people around keep telling me.....
*don't trust people easily
*you are being too transparent
*you must build up your defense wall
*you gonna hurt yourself soon

All above..... i do understand very well. But for me there's always an exception. There's someone that i trusted so much in bunker industry, name her as M. I always believed that M is different and she's my true friend in bunker. We always had the same thinking (i thought), business is business - friendship is friendship. We both agreed on this (i thought).

But things getting complicated when both business and friendship link together. For me there's always a clear cut between business and friendship. Whatever happen on business got nothing to do with friendship ma, that's simple right? In fact.... i'm wrong.

Whatever shit happens in business is 100% affecting to your friendship lo~ Yes, now i know..... im too NAIVE back then. Some bad experience on business with M ultimately ruined our friendship. From that onwards, M who always real and pure hearted (i thought) changed to someone that i hardly recognize and fake.

There's something that i couldn't understand. M was being nice to be from beginning to have a smooth business or she had changed after things went wrong on business? It's totally a chicken and egg thing i guess.... So when is real when is fake??! Heck knows.....

Perhaps, i shouldn't but too much of my personal feelings on it. If i never built up the bond then i will never get hurt.

LESSON OF THE YEAR - DO NOT TRUST ANYONE IN BUNKER

Gonna tell myself this.... WELCOME TO BUNKER!! After a year i am here.... wtf~!! After all.... im still upset about this T_T

After long silence

When i wrote my last post 7 months ago, it's only few months i joined bunker industry. Now is coming to a year and i'm still struggling, learning and enjoying here. It's just like a story book with endless climax for me. Is a good sign i guess, at least i don't feel bored and wanted to leave yet.

I didn't really look at my blog since then and i feel totally weird-ed out when i read my previous entries. I feel like i was a different person back then with so much of freedom and dreams. Now its all about trading, operating, marketing, socializing and making money for company wtf. However, i have decided to pick up my blog again. Because it does help me to think and remind me who am i, the real me. Even though there are not many people reading my blog... LOL

Well .......im kinda losing myself for the past one year.I have to admit that my career is making a big changes on me. From nothing to something, simple minded person to someone who over-think for every single thing, unrealistic to realistic, unmaterialistic to materialistic. Please allow me to say this, is quite impossible to stay unchanged with my working environment and also the people that i surrounded with. Is not a good thing for sure, but is not a bad thing either to expose myself and experience the real world when im still "young"? Haha... yes, i consider myself young, always~!

Anyway, i just shifted to Monkey Island 2 weeks ago with Egui. There's a long list of "to be done" agenda waiting for me......sigh~